I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
