I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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