I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
