You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
