So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
