she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
