i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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