We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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