Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
