Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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