remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
