I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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