I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
