I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
