Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
