So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
