you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
