That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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