I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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