i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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