just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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