weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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