Just cropdusted the office
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
