i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
