we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
