I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
