Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
