we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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