What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
farters have to be the big spoon...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
