Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
