so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
