He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
