I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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