don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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