I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
