Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
