But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
