I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he fucked my hip out of place.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I enjoy the company of your penis
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
