btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
