she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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