Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
