You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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