Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
