he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
