Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
