There was a lot of him and a little penis
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
