"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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