he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
