break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
