my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
