I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
