I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
