i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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