I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
