these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize