I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
