Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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