i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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