I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
