Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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