That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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