I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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