you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize