This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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