Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
